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Life Coaching by Kathy O'Connor
Contact me on +353 (0)86 867 6565

Change That Will Make a Difference

We all have dreams and we all want to believe that somehow in our lives that we can make a difference, that we can touch our family, our friends, or other people in some special way. At one time in our lives we had an idea of what it was that we really wanted to do and we imagined how our lives would unfold. Dreams get lost as we face life‟s challenges and it gets forgotten that we have the power to shape our future. Confidence gets knocked and our hopes and dreams fade into the past. It is my lifes work to remind myself and people just like you and me that the power to change anything lies deep within us. We can awaken this power and bring our dreams back to life, starting right now, and within the next few articles I will give you some simple tools that can assist you in making this happen.

Positive thinking is a great start and you certainly want to focus on how to turn things around, to find solutions rather than focusing on how things go wrong. If any of you have read the Secret you will realise the importance of positive thinking. There is a tendency within the majority of people to focus on what they do not have rather on what it is they want and to acknowledge all that is right in our lives. Positive thinking alone is not enough to turn your life around. You must have some step-by-step plans for changing how you think, how you feel, and what you do with every day that you have on this earth.

I’m sure that you can all agree that each of us want to change or improve something in our lives? Almost all the changes we want to make fall into one or two categories. We either want to change the way we feel about things, we want to have more confidence, to overcome our fears, we want to rid ourselves of frustrations, we want to feel happy, or feel better about things that have happened in the past, or we want to change our actions. We want to do something different, such as to quit smoking, drinking, lose weight or to stop procrastinating. The big problem is that although everyone wants to make these changes, very few of us know how to produce a change and to make it last.

I’d like to help you get started in the direction of making positive change on consistent bases. I‟m not promising you the world though I am promising you that you can absolutely take control and begin to change the quality of your life using some simple steps that you‟ll learn as we go along. The only thing that’s necessary to make this work for you right now is to begin to believe that it is possible to change. The past doesn’t matter. Whatever hasn’t worked in the past has nothing to do with what you’ll do today. What you do right now is what will shape your destiny. Right now, start by being a friend to yourself. Beating yourself up about “what has happened” serves no purpose except to keep you stuck and where you are. Focusing on solutions rather than problems is one great way to turn things around.

Let‟s begin to change our lives by understanding what to do when we are …

Often in life, events occur that are outside of our control. The company we‟re working for “downsizes” and we get laid off, our spouse leaves us, a family member becomes ill, or someone close to us dies or the government cuts a training that we were depending on. In these situations, we may feel as if there is simply nothing we can do to make things better. Maybe you’ve had the experience of trying everything you knew to get a job, to help your family, to find your soul mate, or just to feel happier and nothing seemed to work. When we try a new approach yet we still fail to reach our goal, often we fear trying again. Why? Because we all want to avoid pain, and nobody wants to fail again. Often, after many of these experiences of disappointment, we stop trying! We get to the point where we believe that nothing will work. If you find yourself at the point where you’re not even willing to try, you’ve put yourself in a place called “learned helplessness.” You’ve literally learned – or taught yourself – that you are “helpless.”

The good news is that this is not true. You can make things happen!

You can change anything in your life today by changing your perceptions and changing your actions. The first step in turning your life around is getting rid of this negative belief that you can’t do anything or that you’re helpless.

So how can you do that? Often the reason that people say they can’t do something is that they’ve tried things in the past that haven’t worked. Remember –YOUR PAST DOES NOT EQUAL YOUR FUTURE.

What matters is not yesterday though what you do right now. So many people are trying to drive into the future using a rear-view mirror to guide themselves! If you do that, you‟ll crash. Instead you must focus on what you can do today to make things better.

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