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Life Coaching by Kathy O'Connor
Contact me on +353 (0)86 867 6565

Step into the Drivers Seat

Have you ever stopped to ask the question ‘what it is that you really want in your life’? Are you living your life the way you want to? Are you looking for change and if so what does that change look like, sound like or feel like. Is it to have more money, a bigger house or car, a different career, a promotion, more education? Is it to have a partner, or maybe a different partner, to have children or not to have children, to be thinner, more attractive? Is it to be stress free, to learn how to meditate, to be happy and to be contented? The list goes on and on and the reality is that we are all looking for something more or for something different. As human beings we constantly want to achieve more, to have more and to Be more that we are at present. This is the greatness of our being human.

We are the most intelligent species on the planet and we are continually seeking to improve our lives.

So what is it that gets in the way?

There are several things that get in the way and here is a list of some of them, Fear, Jealousy, Hatred, Revenge, Greed, Superstition and Anger. These are called negative emotions and if we allow ourselves to engage  with them they can create a lot of pain, confusion and upset.

Let’s take a closer look at these negative emotions.

Fear can actually kill you, it causes the body to breakdown and it is the underlying emotion of anxiety. You go to the doctor and get a prescription to deal with the feelings of anxiety and yet the underlying feelings are not dealt. That prescription will help your body relax though it will not help you deal with the fear that is creating the anxiety. This is a common trap that people fall into and unless you make a conscious decision to deal with the fear the anxiety will continue to remain.

Jealousy ruins relationships, careers, and opportunities. It is a negative emotion that will destroy all before it. Jealousy is being afraid of losing something that you haven’t got. Yes that is right; it is the fear of losing something that is not yours.

Hatred is caused by ignorance, a lack of information or knowledge about a certain topic, culture or thing. Some people think that hatred is the opposite of love, the opposite of love is indifference. Hatred is one of the most destructive emotions that we can allow ourselves experience.

Revenge is about pay back, getting someone back for something that they have done. We don’t have to accept others bad feelings or deeds towards us, that is their feeling and action, not ours. We can let it go over our
heads and not react, that is our choice. Pay back doesn’t work; it can make a situation worse and leave ourselves feeling bad.

Greed is caused by insecurity. It is the mind set is of poverty, of never having enough no matter how much you have and a fear of losing everything you have. It is a lack of understanding of who we are and of what it available to us. Greed is a direct violation of the natural laws, always wanting more and more.

Superstition is a silly emotion and one that has been inherited. It implies that you let ladders, cats, etc control what is going to happen to you. This emotion can be at the root of your achieving as you may believe is sayings such as: Money is at the root of all evil, its bad luck to walk under a ladder, good comes to those who wait etc.

Anger is an emotion that we generally suppress then explode. It is a powerful emotion and can cause depression. One of the ways to deal with anger is to write out what it is that we are angry about, then burn it. Writing it out is a way of expression which will help eliminate the anger.

Take control of your Emotions

Take charge of your emotional state by becoming aware of whether you are engaging life from a negative state of positive state of being. Positive emotions are: Desire, Faith, Love, Enthusiasm, Romance and Hope. The
two legs of personal development are Awareness and Self Responsibility. When we become aware of how we are thinking and behaving then we can take responsibility and change what it is we are doing. More about the
positive emotions next time.

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