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Life Coaching by Kathy O'Connor
Contact me on +353 (0)86 867 6565

The Truth About Failure

Failure is something that we have been programmed to believe in and we have come to fear failure. Failure in our society is harshly frowned upon and we are told that if we do not succeed that we are not good enough, that we do not deserve, and that we are stupid. To fail has become such a dread for people that the good has been taken out of even trying to do something and many a dream and goal dies a death at before it even gets started. More and more people do not follow their dreams because they have been shut down by fear of failure. This is such a tragedy and today I am going to introduce a new concept that can help overcome the fear of failure, and that is: There really is no such thing as failure. Yes, I am going to say that again, ‘There is no such thing as failure’. Failure is only a concept and quite successfully keeps us stuck and away from doing something great with our lives.

There are no failures in life. If you try something and it does’t work, you can learn something from it that can help you to be more effective in the future, then you’ve truly succeeded. So failure as we call it is something that can be learned from to help us achieve the success and goals that we want. We all have problems, disappointments, and frustrations, and its how we deal with setbacks that will shape our lives more than anything else we do. You have heard me talk many time of change, and the power that we have to change any part of our lives. Bob Proctor, a great American icon in the field of personal growth says, “Change is inevitable, and Personal Development is a choice”. And what a choice it is to make a decision to learn more about ourselves and to make powerful decisions that can literally turn our lives around. Right now it‟s time for you to make a decision. Right now I want you to promise yourself that you’ll never indulge in feelings of being defeated or depressed again. This doesn’t mean that you have to be unrealistic about the challenges before  you. It simply means that you now understand that the emotions of defeat and depression stop you from taking the very actions that can change your life. You must believe that even though things may look impossible now, you can turn them around.

So how do we do this? Well, we all know that to get new results we have to take new actions and to take a new action we must make a decision to do so. The power of decision is the power of change. It is true that we do not have control over certain events of our lives, though we can control what we decide to think, believe, feel and do about those events. It is good to remember that every moment we‟re alive on this planet, whether we admitted to ourselves or not, a new set of choices, a new set of actions, and a new set of results are merely a decision or two away. Most of us have forgotten that we have this power to choose. Ultimately, it’s our decisions, not the conditions of our lives that determine our destiny.

How you live today is the result of who you’ve decided to spend time with, what you’ve decided to learn or not to learn, what you’ve decided to believe, your decisions to give up or your decisions to persist, your decisions to get married and have children, your decisions about what to eat, your decisions to smoke or drink, your decisions about who you are and what you’re capable of – all of these have literally controlled and directed your life. If we sincerely want to change our lives then we’ve got to make some new decisions about what we stand for and what we‟re going to do… and what we‟re committed to. When I use the word decision, I mean making a real and conscious choice. Many people say, “Well, I decided that I‟m going to lose some weight,” but that’s too general, it is not specific enough. They‟re just stating a preference; in other words they are saying, “I‟d like to be thinner.” A real decision is made when you cut off any possibility except what you’ve committed to do, when you will not look back, when you will not even consider the alternative of giving up.

What do I mean by a “real decision”? So many people say things like, “Well, I really should lose some weight. I should make more money. I should do something to get a better job. I should stop drinking.” But you can “should” all over yourself, and things still won‟t change! The only way to change your life is to make a real decision.

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